When I Wake
by Forever Fairy
Summary: After a car accident, Elliot wakes up to find that he has a different life and he is the only one with memories of his previous one. *Story completed*
1. Chapter 1

Elliot Stabler shook his head as he searched through the paperwork on his desk once again. This case was not making any sense.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Elliot looked up, meeting the glance of his partner, Olivia Benson. She was watching him curiously from her desk across from his. "I keep going through this case, but none of the clues left behind are making any sense." He frowned.  
  
"Okay, a woman is left for dead in an alley. She claims she's raped, but there's no evidence. Then she claims that she tried to commit suicide, but some of her injuries couldn't have been caused by herself."  
  
"Yeah, the bite marks on her elbow, for example," Olivia almost smiled. "Can you believe that she actually thinks she can tell us that she did that to herself and that we'll believe it?"  
  
"Well, what doesn't make sense is that she claims she tried to kill herself in her apartment, but we found her on a street. There are no fingerprints, no DNA, no evidence that there was a perp involved. And then she says she was raped in a church sanctuary, but there was service being held in the sanctuary during the time she gave," Elliot leaned back in his chair and rubbed her eyes.  
  
Olivia stifled a yawn and checked her watch. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm too tired to spend all night wracking my brain over something that we can't solve without more evidence."  
  
"Why don't you go home? I'll probably be here for a while," Elliot said. Olivia watched him for a second. "You're not making excuses to not go home, are you?"  
  
Elliot smirked. "You are so blunt, do you know that?"  
  
Olivia shrugged and kept her expectant gaze on him. She wasn't going to give up without an answer. Elliot sighed. "Okay fine. Yes, I'm making excuses not to go home."  
  
"Wanna talk about it?"  
  
"I thought you were leaving?"  
  
"I am. But this is going to bug me all night until you talk."  
  
Elliot smiled a little and fiddled with his paperwork. "It's nothing. Kathy and I had a fight this morning, and I just don't want to continue it. Not necessarily for our sake, but for the kids. It's tough on them when we fight."  
  
Olivia nodded. "Maybe you two can work it out? I mean, if it's so tough on the kids, that should be reason enough for the two of you to make up and stop."  
  
"Well, thank you for the advice, Dr. Benson. I'll keep that in mind."  
  
Olivia rolled her eyes and stood up. "Okay, that's just fine with me. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"See you." Elliot sighed and rubbed his eyes again. This was going to be a long night.  
  
It took him two hours before Olivia's words finally sunk in. Why did Kathy and him keep fighting when it just hurt their kids? He checked his watch. It was 1 AM. Too late to probably do much then, but he might as well go home and face the music.  
  
Elliot made his way out to his car, feeling groggy. His exhaustion was beginning to get the better of him. *Wake up, Stabler,* He scolded himself. *The last thing you need is to fall asleep behind the wheel.*  
  
And he almost succeeded. But several blocks later, his fatigue showed up again. He caught himself beginning to doze off. "Goddammit!" He banged his hands against the steering wheel. "Stop it, Elliot!"  
  
Who caused the accident, the woman in the red Chevrolet or Elliot, no one could tell. Between the woman's intoxication and Elliot's drowsiness, it was disaster waiting to happen. Elliot couldn't even remember that intersection. He could vaguely remember that his light was green. Maybe it was yellow. He wasn't sure. The only thing he accurately remembered was waking up on the concrete in the rain before the darkness settled over him... 


	2. Chapter 2

Elliot woke up to something wet and rough on his face. He stirred slightly.  
  
"Lucy! Lucy, stop that!"  
  
*Olivia?* Elliot thought. He could've sworn that was Olivia's voice. But where was he? The last thing he remembered was the...  
  
Accident. Elliot forced his eyes open, expecting to either find himself on a sidewalk or in a hospital bed. To his astonishment, he was in neither place. He was lying on a floor.   
  
"Elliot? Oh God, are you okay?"  
  
"Liv... what happened? Where am I?" Elliot asked in shock. He began to sit up but winced at the pain shooting through the back of his head.  
  
Olivia, who was kneeling beside him, sat back on her legs. "Wow, you must've fell harder than I thought," She said with a smile. "You're at home. Lucy tripped you and you fell."  
  
"Who's Lucy?" Elliot asked, closing his eyes.  
  
"Who's Lucy, that's funny. Lucy's our dog."  
  
Elliot's eyes popped open. "Our dog? Since when do WE have a dog?"  
  
He couldn't miss the look in Olivia's eyes. *She thinks I'm crazy,* He thought to himself. *Actually, I think I'm crazy. One minute, I was driving home from work and next thing I know I'm...*  
  
"We got Lucy when we got married. Don't you remember? We found her in an alley on our honeymoon..."  
  
"Say WHAT?" Elliot sat upright; his eyes were wide staring at Olivia. Olivia watched him puzzled. Elliot looked down, confusing, when he caught sight of Olivia's stomach. "Whoa. When did you go on an eating binge?" He asked, almost amused.  
  
"What? Elliot, I'm pregnant! Do you honestly not know what I'm talking about?"  
  
Elliot shook his head and began to laugh lightly. "Oh, I see. This is a joke. It's mess with Elliot day or something, isn't it?"   
  
Olivia just stared at him. There was a hint of hurt in her eyes. "Elliot, I... what's up? Do you need to go to the hospital or something?"  
  
Elliot stopped smiling and frowned. "Okay hold on. I was on my way home from work and there was an accident. I got knocked out, the next thing I know I'm sitting on a floor and you're telling me we're married and having kids together."  
  
Olivia shrugged, looking puzzled. "So?"  
  
"So, it's not funny anymore, Liv. Where's Kathy and the kids?"  
  
"Who? Elliot, you're not making any sense..."  
  
Elliot found himself jumping to his feet. He tried to ignore the wave of dizziness that surged through his head. "I'm not making sense? You're not making sense! We're not married, we don't have a dog named Lucy and we are not having a baby together! Where's my wife and kids, Olivia? I'm serious now."  
  
Tears began to show in Olivia's eyes. She looked seriously hurt. "I'm your wife," She said in a voice so soft it sounded like a child's. Elliot watched as she hung her head and looked at her feet.  
  
"No, this isn't possible. I'm serious Olivia, stop it!"  
  
"Elliot, you're scaring me! Did you lose your memory or something when you fell? Tell me, what's wrong?" Olivia's brown eyes pleaded with him.  
  
Elliot opened his mouth, but the words didn't come. His eyes wandered to her stomach and he felt his lunch beginning to come up. "This isn't possible," He murmured softly. "It's not."  
  
Not wanting to here another word, Elliot turned. He spotted the front door and went to it. Without looking back, Elliot opened the door. "I'm going to find Kathy and my kids. You decide if this joke was worth it," He called back heatedly to her. As he left the apartment, Elliot could hear Olivia sobbing softly from behind the door. His felt his heart beginning to break.   
  
*Maybe she was telling the truth,* He thought to himself. *Olivia has never been this emotional and especially not over a stupid joke.*  
  
As Elliot exited the building and hurried down the sidewalk, he felt the contradiction beginning to slip away. What if this was no joke? Was it possible after all? Could he have woken up to a whole new life?  
  
"I won't know until I find Kathy," Elliot said firmly to himself, leaving behind any feelings of pity or doubt, even as the truth ate away at his mind: He wasn't going to find Kathy and the kids: because Kathy and the kids no longer existed.  
My goal was to freak you out in this chapter! Did I succeed? ;) Please review! 


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, got to apologize here. My parts are pretty short and not too descriptive. Darn writer's block!   
It took him hours to finally satisfy his need to find Kathy and it was at 2 AM that Elliot finally decided to briefly give up the scour and go home.  
  
*Yeah, go home. Go home where?* He thought deprecatingly. *Where is home? With Olivia?*  
  
Unsure of where to go, Elliot just began to walk. The night air was misty and it stung his eyes, blinding him of where he was headed. Moments passed by in a frenzied blur and the next thing he knew, he was standing outside the door to the police station. He was about to enter when he suddenly froze, paralyzed with doubt.  
  
*What if I don't work here?* He thought, suddenly feeling a pang of anxiousness. His blue eyes spaced out for a minute, wondering what he did if he didn't work for the SVU? After all, he didn't know that he was married to Olivia. Maybe his life was entirely, thoroughly, hopelessly tainted? What if...  
  
"Hey Elliot!"  
  
Elliot jumped, shocked out of his worry. He turned and saw Fin walking towards him, bundled up tightly against the icy New York weather.  
  
"Where the hell were you today? I thought I told you that we were going to question that Joe guy today!" His tone was hard and his expression was even harder.  
  
Elliot stared at him temporarily. "I... I still work here?" He muttered in quiet disbelief. "How can I still work here? How is this possible?"  
  
Fin was absolutely silent, staring at Elliot like he was crazy. "Uh huh," Fin shook his head. "You better go home and work out your issues."  
  
Elliot rolled his eyes as Fin pushed past him and headed towards the door. Elliot turned around and caught him just before he entered. "Hey Fin,"   
  
He turned. "Do you know where my home is?"  
  
Fin chuckled to himself and shook his head. "Man, you need some help."  
  
"No seriously. Where do I live? Who do I live with?"  
  
Fin sighed and nodded raising his eyebrows in sheer sarcasm. "Okay, I'll play along. I think you live in an apartment with Olivia and your dog, but hey, if you aren't sure, who am I to tell you?"  
  
Elliot rubbed his eyes until they were sore. This was all too messed up. "Maybe I am going crazy," He muttered into his hands.  
  
Fin frowned, the humor suddenly disappearing from the situation. "Okay, what's going on? Something's not right here or am I really missing something?"  
  
"I'm probably going to sound really crazy here," Elliot began, dropping his hands to his sides. "But I don't know how I got here. I was in a car accident. I wake up in an apartment with Olivia and she tells me that we're married and she's pregnant."  
  
Fin shrugged, not subsequent to his confusion. "So?"  
  
Elliot sighed in aggravation. "So, I'm married to Kathy! We have four kids together. I work at the SVU and Olivia's my partner, not my wife."  
  
"Well, I mean, Olivia was your partner and all until you two got married and she got pregnant," Fin observed Elliot closely. "At least that part you got right."  
  
"No. We aren't married. I have no memory of this life I'm living, only of the one before. And I can't decide if I'm crazy or dreaming or what."  
  
Fin shrugged. "Sounds to me like you need to just go home and get some sleep. Talk to Olivia. She'll set you straight like she always does," He smirked.  
  
Elliot groaned to himself. "I kind of had a fight with her. I was telling her that we weren't married and this isn't my life and I made her cry. I don't think she'll want to see me any time soon."  
  
Fin was hushed for a moment. "Just go home," He finally spoke up. "Get some sleep, and tomorrow things will probably be back tomorrow. Now I got to get inside."  
  
Without another word, Fin turned and vanished into the building. Elliot watched him go and groaned. "Crap," He muttered garbled words to himself. Not sure of what else to do, Elliot turned into the sidewalk and began to head back to his new home.  
*What apartment number are we in?* Elliot questioned himself as he frowned walking down the hall. Abruptly, he turned to one door and twisted the handle. A gut feeling seemed to kick in instantaneously and he found himself standing in the apartment that he had been in before.  
  
"Weird," He muttered again. The room was illuminated with tranquil luminosity. Olivia, who was asleep on the couch, woke up as she heard the door open. "Elliot?" She called out, sleep gradually gliding away from her.  
  
Elliot walked awkwardly into the room, unsure of what to do or say. Olivia struggled a bit to get up off the couch and instantly hurried over to him. Elliot watched her, his face emotionless.  
  
Olivia approached him and stared at him directly in his blue eyes. "Elliot, I need you to tell me what's going on," She said softly. "None of this makes any sense."  
  
Elliot's eyes melted slowly. "Liv, I'm just so confused here..."  
  
He didn't say another word. Olivia wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. "I don't know what's going on here, Elliot," She whispered into his ear. "But I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere, okay?"  
  
Elliot didn't reply. He just squeezed her tighter. He wasn't sure how he got there, or why he was there, but he was there. And this might be a life that he could get used to. 


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for hanging in there through my writer's block! I'm not making any promises about when the next chapter will be out, but hopefully by tomorrow or the next day.  
  
Oh yeah, and the little 'you're on candid camera' gag in here is based on an event from my brother-in-law's past… uh I won't go into the details. :)  
  
Anyway, here's part 4. Enjoy!  
The next two days passed by in a blur for Elliot. He had taken some vacation time and spent it with Olivia at home, going through old pictures and talking about their lives. At the particular moment, the two were sitting on the floor amongst hundreds of pictures strewn all over the floor.  
  
"Whoa." Elliot held up an old black and white picture to the light and smirked.  
  
Olivia looked up from the pile of pictures of her lap. "What?"  
  
"I remember this one," He said, not taking his eyes off the shiny paper. "It was when I was a teenager. My friends and I stole my cousin's car and he caught us and took a picture of us in it for evidence."  
  
Olivia took the picture from him and smirked reading the caption. "Smile, you're on Candid Camera?"  
  
Elliot shrugged and took back the picture. "God, all these pictures from my childhood. All these memories I have, but I can't remember anything after joining the NYPD," Elliot sighed and flung the picture back into the mess.  
  
Olivia was silent for a moment. Her eyes lingered on her stomach for a moment before asking softly, "You really don't remember anything?"  
  
Elliot leaned back against the couch and watched her face. Sighing, he reached over and took her hand. "Liv, I know that this is really hard. It's freaking me out, too. But... maybe we should just... give it some time. Maybe it'll all come back to me..."  
  
Elliot's words trailed off quickly. Olivia pulled her hand out of his and struggled to stand up. Elliot rose with her, holding on to her arm. "Just wait here," She said shortly, getting up and walking out of the living room towards their bedroom.  
  
Sighing, Elliot flopped down onto the couch. He couldn't tell whether he had made her angry or not. It was hard to tell. *As if Olivia isn't hard enough to read as it is,* He thought almost bitterly, angry at himself for not trying as hard as he should to remember what he was supposed to.  
  
Olivia emerged a minute later with a few more pictures in her hand. "Hmm, I thought we dragged out all our pictures," Elliot said, watching her curiously.  
  
"I wouldn't keep these ones in the boxes," Olivia said softly, sitting beside Elliot. Elliot took the pictures from her and froze. "Our wedding," He stated with a relaxed smile.  
  
"Mmm hmm. I always keep these in that little tin box on the headboard," Olivia rested her chin on Elliot's shoulder as he flipped through the pictures, smiling a little more at each one. There were silly ones of them at their wedding reception slamming cake in each other's faces and serious ones of them at the alter, holding hands and smiling.  
  
Elliot's smile abruptly faded as he came upon the last picture. It was murky and looked like the form of a little shadow. He suddenly realized it was a sonogram.  
  
"Had it done last week," Olivia intertwined her fingers with Elliot's. "You went with me. You said that the two happiest moments of your life was when we were married and that moment. I thought maybe… if you saw these, they might jog some memories."  
  
Elliot's finger traced the muted silhouette of the unborn baby on the photo paper. Three times before had he seen one of these in his 'other' life, but somehow, this one felt different.  
  
"It's always hard to believe that it's a baby in there," Elliot said inaudibly, glancing down at Olivia's stomach. Olivia smiled tenderly. "You talk like you've been through this before."  
  
Elliot laughed lightly to himself. "I thought I had been." His face briskly turned somber.   
  
"But maybe… maybe this is where I'm supposed to be."   
  
Olivia watched him, her eyes also serious. "Do you really believe that?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my kids... my other kids and I miss them but... but I feel like I'm not in a big hurry to get back there, you know?"  
  
Olivia opened her mouth to respond, but the ringing of Elliot's cell phone cut them off. Elliot glared as he ripped it out of his pocket. Olivia smiled. "Better answer that. It could be an emergency."  
  
"Yeah, or a telemarketer," Elliot answered. "Stabler."  
  
He listened for a moment to the voice on the other end of the line with a frown. "Hey Elliot, it's Munch. We hate to cut your vacation short, but we really need you to get back to work. We got some new developments on the Fowler case."  
  
"Oh, yeah?" Elliot had learned one thing over the past two days: with the exception of his personal life, everything was the same. The case that he had been torturing himself over the night all this first started still existed and it was still a big a mystery as it had been in his other life.  
  
"Yeah. We got a witness to the rape in the church."  
  
"I thought that it was impossible. There was service going on in the church she claimed she was raped in?" Elliot frowned.   
  
"Nope. Wrong church. She was raped at the church down the street, Mount View Presbyterian."  
  
"Uh, hold on, I'll meet you there. Where are you at?"  
  
Munch gave Elliot an address quickly. "Okay Munch, I'll see you there." Elliot hung up and looked apologetically at Olivia. "Look Liv, I know I said I'd spend time with you for the next few days but…"  
  
Olivia rolled her brown eyes. "Oh, shut up and go. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here when you get back." Olivia smiled warmly at him.   
  
Elliot leaned over and kissed her lips gently. "I'll be back soon," He whispered lovingly. Reluctantly, he stood up and exited the apartment, ready to begin another long, confusing day on the Fowler case. Unfortunately, he underestimated how very long and confusing it would be. 


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay. Darn school! I say we all protest!   
  
Elliot slammed the car door shut and approached his fellow detective, John Munch, who was waiting for him outside Mount View Presbyterian. John turned hearing the door slam and frowned.  
  
"Damn Stabler, I've only been waiting here for..." Munch checked his watch. Elliot took the opportunity.   
  
"For about ten minutes. Will you just tell me what's going on?" Elliot raised his eyebrows expectantly.   
  
Munch grumbled a little before answering. "Dana Lowell. She was in the church when she saw the rape."  
  
The two detectives walked over to a petite brunette, sitting on the church stairs, looking distraught. "Ms. Lowell, this is Detective Stabler. Now that we're both here, why don't you come with us to the station so we can get your statement?"  
  
Dana looked up at them nervously. After a moment of hesitation, she nodded slowly. "Okay."  
*SVU Interrogation Room*  
  
"Okay now, Ms. Lowell. Why don't you go ahead and tell us what happened?" Elliot said, flicking on the tape recorder.  
  
Dana nodded her head. Closing her eyes, she took a shaky breath before speaking. "I was finishing up decorating the reception hall for the luncheon the next day when I heard someone screaming. I ran into the sanctuary and I saw them... it was Carrie and another man. She was screaming, "No leave me alone" and I realized that he was raping her. So I tried to pull him off of her and he turned around and told me to get out or I would be next. Then he said if I told anyone that he would... kill me. So I ran out and I didn't look back. That's why I didn't report it until now," Dana finished softly, still not looking at either of the detectives.  
  
Stabler and Munch exchanged glances. "So, why did you decide to report the rape now?" Elliot asked, sitting down in the chair across from Dana.  
  
Dana sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. It didn't seem right. I mean, here I was in a house of God and I'm saving myself. I... I guess it seemed right."  
  
"You called her by her first name, Carrie. Do you know her?" Elliot asked. Dana glanced up at Elliot. "She's a member of the congregation. But we hadn't seen her in a while."  
  
"Why was that?" John asked, moving behind Dana.  
  
"Our minister had gone to visit her once before. He found her in her apartment almost dead. She'd cut herself and tried to commit suicide. Why, I'm not sure. There was a rumor going around that her boyfriend had beat her, but I'm not one to listen to rumors."  
  
"Do you know if the rape had been going on before you heard Carrie screaming?" Elliot asked.  
  
Dana shook her head. "I wouldn't imagine that it would've. I don't see why she wouldn't scream if he had been raping her before I found them."  
  
"One more thing. Did you recognize the man who raped Carrie?"  
  
Dana was silent for a moment as if nervously pondering her answer carefully. "No."  
  
John and Elliot looked at each other again. "Thank you, Ms. Lowell."  
  
The two men exited the interrogation room and met with Cragen and Huang. "So doc, what do ya say?" John asked.  
  
"Well, what can I say? She was pretty clear in her statement. However, there is one thing that I noticed that disturbed me a little," Huang said.  
  
Cragen raised an eyebrow. "And what was that?"  
  
"The fact that she never looked at either of you. And she hesitated before answering your last question. That's usually a good sign that they're lying, especially if they're involved in the church."  
  
"How so?"  
  
Huang shrugged. "They feel guilt easier because they're going against the Lord? Who knows."  
  
"But why would she be lying? She was a witness, she doesn't have anything to hide," John commented.  
  
"Or does she?" Elliot asked, looking between the other three men. "She might not be telling us something."  
  
"Well, you two get in there are start doing your good cop, bad cop thing. We have to figure out what's she's hiding if she's hiding anything," Cragen instructed.   
  
"And keep trying to get her to tell who the perp is," Huang added. Elliot and John looked at each other skeptically. "But she said she didn't know the perp."  
  
"I know. But she hesitated before saying no. Maybe we can pressure her into telling, because I have a feeling that she knows who he is."  
  
With that, Munch and Stabler turned and walked back into the interrogation room, doubting Huang's words, but not wanting to waste time arguing with him.  
  
Dana looked up nervously as the detectives entered the room again. "C-can I go now?" She stuttered.  
  
"Not until you start telling us the truth," Munch replied bluntly.  
  
Dana's eyes widened in shock. "I-I am telling you the truth!" She protested. "I swear that I told you everything I know!"  
  
"You feel a little crowded in here, Dana? A little nervous talking to us, is that it?" Elliot asked, his voice soaked with compassion as he sat in the chair across from their witness.  
  
Dana's eyes flickered between Elliot and John who was hovering nearby. "A little," She admitted.  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
Dana looked at Elliot as if he had crabs crawling out of his ears. "I... well, I've never had to go through this before. I mean, the guy said that he would kill me if I told you anything."  
  
"Do you know who our perp is?" John asked.   
  
Dana sighed, frustrated. "I already told you I don't."  
  
"Who did you say your minister is?" Elliot asked, pulling out a notepad. Dana's eyes darted between the two detectives. "Why?"  
  
"You said that he went to go see Carrie before the rape. You said that he said she had tried to commit suicide and he found her, so you must be close to him, right?" Munch asked, resting his hands on the table next to Dana and leaning in closer to her.  
  
Dana shook her head. "No. He told the whole church so that we could pray for her."  
  
"Can anyone confirm that?"  
  
Dana nodded without a moment of pause. "You can ask anyone in our church. Daniel and Cici Hallwell, Lucy Rochester, Kyle Asden to name a few. There had to have been close to a hundred of us there that day."  
  
"Very observant," Munch muttered.  
  
"Your minister's name, please? We need to check your story with him," Elliot said as he finished copying down the names.  
  
Dana sighed. "Roger Johnston. Can I go now?"  
  
"Yes, Ms. Lowell, that's fine. But don't leave town for a few weeks. We'll be in touch."  
The seconds passed into minutes and minutes passed into hours. Before Elliot knew it, the entire day was gone.  
  
"Sorry to ruin your day off," Fin said, coming up behind Elliot and slapping his shoulder. Elliot shrugged. "Yeah well, I've learned that there's no such thing as a day off."  
  
John approached the two men with a heavy sigh. "Can you believe this? We spent a;; day interviewing the entire church population and every one of them confirm Dana's story."  
  
"So maybe she wasn't lying? A day well wasted, don't you think?" Fin rolled his eyes at John and flopped down into his chair.   
  
Elliot slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "Well, we still have to track down the minister and question him."  
  
John nodded. "Yeah, well, we can find him tomorrow. I'm going home."  
  
Elliot nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I should probably get home. It's bad enough I leave on my day off but then not calling for the rest of the day..." Elliot trailed off, remembering how he had never been this concerned with Kathy and the kids as he was with Olivia in that moment. What was wrong with that picture?  
Instead of pondering the answer to his question, Elliot found himself back home within minutes. He trudged down the hall to the apartment that was still unfamiliar to him. With a yawn, he pulled out his key and was about to enter when he heard a sound from inside.   
  
His stomach instantly lurched. The first clue that something was wrong was the sound: Olivia sobbing hysterically inside. 


	6. Chapter 6

Elliot nearly broke down the door, forcing himself into the apartment. "Olivia? Olivia, where are you? What's wrong?"  
  
There was no response. Her sobbing continued and Elliot followed the sound to the bedroom. Elliot flung the door open and saw Olivia, curled up in a ball on the bed, rocking herself slowly and sobbing uncontrollably.  
  
"Olivia, what's wrong? Honey, what happened? What's the matter?" Elliot sat next to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.  
  
Olivia sniffled and lifted her head from her arms, wiping away her tears. "Elliot, I'm..."  
  
Elliot searched her eyes in a frantic worry for an answer. "You're what? What is it?"  
  
"I... I'm FAT!"  
  
Promptly, Olivia burst into tears again and returned her head to the position on her arms. Elliot sat back, stunned for a moment before beginning to chuckle softly.  
  
"It's not funny!" Olivia tried to snap, but it came out in a pathetic wail. "Olivia, I come home after a long day of tracking down rapists, I come home and you're crying, you scare me half to death and it's all because you're fat?"  
  
Olivia began wailing harder. "So I AM fat!"  
  
Elliot stared at her for a moment, partially amused, partially bewildered. "Olivia I... you're not fat. I swear it, you're not."  
  
Olivia shook her head, a strand of hair falling in her reddened face. "No. No never mind. I'm fine." Sniffling a little and wiping away a tear, she turned to Elliot with a bright smile and said cheerfully, "How was your day?"  
  
Elliot stared at her for a moment before bursting into laugher. Olivia frowned and watched him. "What's funny?"  
  
"I just keep forgetting about these pregnancy mood swings."  
  
"Keep forgetting? Oh, right your other life?" Olivia asked.   
  
Elliot nodded slowly. He rubbed his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Olivia, I... I can't explain what's happening. All I can tell you is that for the last few days, I've been living a life that isn't real. Kathy and the kids, they're real."  
  
Olivia watched him, her eyes hurt. "Look, Olivia, I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why I'm here, but there must be a reason. It kills me to say it, but Olivia... you're not... you're not real. Not in the sense that I'm talking about."  
  
Olivia didn't try to stop the tears. Her face was emotionless and it shocked Elliot. He had been dreading this conversation from the moment that he began to enjoy his new life. But he couldn't stay there. He knew it.  
  
Olivia opened her mouth to speak. Elliot almost grimaced, afraid of the hateful words that were about to boomerang back to him. But before any sounds left her mouth, Olivia's face twisted in pain.  
  
Any worries about Olivia's words dissipated instantly. Elliot threw his arms out and caught her before she fell onto the floor. "Olivia," He mumbled as he struggled to hold her up. Her breathing began to shallow. It took Elliot a minute before he realized that she was bleeding.  
  
"Oh, God. Olivia? Olivia, stay with me. Common, stay with me," Elliot shook her slightly as her eyes began to grow heavy. He reached for the phone and dialed 9-1-1. Before he got through to the operator, Olivia was unconscious.  
  
*****************************************************************  
Within minutes, the paramedics had arrived and rushed Olivia to the hospital. About ten minutes of waiting in the waiting room, Elliot had been informed that Olivia had gone into premature labor.  
  
"So... what happens now?" Elliot asked. His voice was hoarse. The doctor shrugged. "Well, we managed to stop the contractions, and we're recommending that she be put on strict bed rest until the baby's born."  
  
Elliot shuffled his feet. "That's three months away," He stated, devastated. The doctor nodded sympathetically. "Yeah. I know, it's going to be tough, but it's for the best. We'd rather have her in bed 24/7 for three months than do serious damage to herself or the baby."  
  
"When can I see her?"  
  
"Right now. She's resting, so you'll have to make it brief."  
  
"When will she be able to come home?"  
  
"Well, we need to keep her for observation at least tonight. If things go okay, then she'll be home by tomorrow."  
  
Elliot nodded. "Thanks."  
  
"If you'll follow me, I'll show you to her room."  
  
The lights were off and the room was dark when Elliot entered. The only sound was the faint beeping of the monitors and the raspy sound of Olivia's breathing. Elliot winced.  
  
"Why is she breathing like that?" He whispered to the doctor.   
  
"She's on a respirator."  
  
"Oh." Elliot felt incredibly stupid, but pushed the feeling away. He only wished he could do the same with the guilt he felt.  
  
"I'll leave you alone. Remember, make it brief," the doctor gave Elliot a smile before he turned and walked out.  
  
Elliot slowly made his way to the chair beside her bed. As he sat down, he took her hand in his and stared at her pale face. Her eyes opened as if on cue. Their eyes locked for a silent moment. "I'm so sorry, Olivia," Elliot whispered. "I never meant to hurt you."  
  
Olivia didn't respond. Elliot wasn't expecting one, but he got one anyone. "Are you sure I'm not real?"  
  
Elliot's eyes began to burn as the water flooded them. It must've been because the last time he cried, he was about ten. "No," he whispered.   
  
Olivia pulled her hand out of Elliot's. Elliot wiped his eyes as he laid his head down next to Olivia's. She ran her fingers through his hair as he allowed the tears to slip from his eyes. Her lips rested on his forehead for a moment. "I love you," She murmured. "Whether I'm real or not."  
  
"I don't want to lose either of you."  
  
Olivia sighed softly as Elliot's fingers trailed across her stomach under the thin hospital blankets. "You won't."  
  
Slowly, the two of them faded into a dreamless sleep, their last waking thought being of each other. 


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, Elliot woke to the sun shining through the blinds and a serious cramp in his neck. He groaned softly as he sat up in his chair, rubbing his sore neck. He smiled a little as he watched Olivia sleep. She looked so peaceful. Totally opposite of her everyday character.  
  
*Then again, she isn't the same anymore,* Elliot reminded himself. Olivia was totally out of character since he had woken up and found himself in their apartment. It disturbed him to see her so easily shaken and to see her cry.  
  
He barely noticed when Dr. Rosefeld walked in. "I thought I told you to keep it brief," He said with a smile. Elliot looked up at him and shrugged. "Yeah. Sorry about that."  
  
"No harm. I think it's good for her to have someone familiar around," He commented as he carefully checked Olivia's vitals. Elliot snorted to himself, thinking of the irony of his statement when just the day before Elliot had told Olivia that she wasn't real.  
  
There was a soft knock at the door as it creaked open slowly. Fin's head poked in. "Hey, man. I heard about what happened."  
  
Elliot nodded slowly, trying to figure out how Fin had heard about Olivia, knowing he hadn't called anyone. Dr. Rosefeld noticed Elliot's perplexed expression. "I called him last night. Your cell phone had fallen out of your pocket and I looked in your address book to see whom I could call. I, uh... I hope you don't mind, it was an extreme invasion of privacy, I'm sure."  
  
Elliot shook his head quickly. "No, no. I'm glad you did." Dr. Rosefeld nodded to Fin to come in and went back to recording all of Olivia's data on the thin clipboard in his hands.  
  
"So how's she doing?" Fin asked. Elliot shrugged. "I think she's okay. They said they're probably going to release her today if things go all right."  
  
Fin nodded. "That's good."  
  
Elliot hesitated, not wanting to discuss work, but needing an answer. "So, um... did you find anything on our mystery minister?"  
  
Fin shrugged and shook his head, his eyes still focused on Olivia's sleeping form. "No nothing. I backtracked everyone we talked to yesterday this morning and they said they didn't know where he was if he wasn't at home. But who knows if this Roger Johnson even exists anyway."  
  
Dr. Rosefeld turned. "Roger Johnson? He's my minister. From Mount View Presbyterian, right?"  
  
Elliot and Fin exchanged glances. "Yeah, that's the one."  
  
"I know where he is. He went out of town for a few days. I think he said that he'll be back today."  
  
Fin looked quickly over at Elliot, eyes wide. "Did he say what time he'd be back?"   
  
"Sure. Sometime this afternoon."  
  
Elliot held up a hand, confused. "Wait, but how do you know about this?"  
  
Dr. Rosefeld shrugged. "His wife told me."  
  
"Wife, huh? No one ever mentioned any wife. Can we have her name?"  
  
"Sure. Dana. Dana Johnson."  
  
Elliot and Fin looked at each other, hoping that their instincts were wrong. "Dana? Her maiden name wouldn't happen to be Lowell, would it?"  
  
Dr. Rosefeld looked surprised. "Why, yes. It is. But how would you...?"  
  
"I'd better go find Dana and get her back in interrogation. This time she damn well better start telling the truth," Fin muttered almost angrily.   
  
"Hey Fin, I'd go with you, but I think I better-"  
  
"Go Elliot. You go back to work. I'll be fine here."   
  
Elliot looked down at Olivia, who still had sleep glazed over her eyes. "Hey. How much of that did you hear?"  
  
Olivia looked at him seriously. "Enough. Go. I'll be fine."  
  
Elliot nodded. He reached for the table where Dr. Rosefeld had placed his cell phone and put it in Olivia's hand. "I'm just a phone call away," He said softly. Giving her a small kiss on her forehead and one last sorrowful glance, Elliot was out the door with Fin to go find Dana Lowell and her mystery husband.  
"So why didn't you tell us that you were married to your minister?" Fin, Munch and Elliot were circling Dana like a team of hawks claiming their prey. Dana eyed them nervously. "I-I didn't think that it mattered."  
  
"Yeah well, guess what Dana, it does matter. If not to our investigation, then to your participation in this investigation," It was Elliot's turn to lecture. "Refraining from telling us any information is going to make you an unreliable witness and then we can't do anything about the alleged rape."  
  
Dana cringed. "I... I really don't think I can help you with this anyway, detectives. I told you I didn't see who raped her."  
  
"Oh really? Why don't you tell us again? We know you're lying anyway," Munch said bluntly.  
  
"Stop it! I'm not! I have no idea who raped her!"  
  
"If we find out that you're lying to us, and the rapist finds out that you squealed, we are not going to protect you," Fin almost yelled, inches away from her face. "We can't protect a lying wimp who's more concerned with her own safety than the well-being of a fellow church member!"  
  
The room was silent. Tears were slowly streaming down Dana's cheeks. She looked up. Her eyes were dark and blank. "I want a lawyer."  
  
Munch, Elliot and Fin exchanged glances. "No need. We'll just talk to your husband."  
  
The three walked out quickly, Dana staring at them as they left, mouth hanging open in shock.  
"So reverend, where've you been?" Munch asked as they entered the second interrogation room where Reverend Roger Johnson was waiting patiently.  
  
"I was in Tennessee visiting my mother. She's ill," He said calmly, his hands folded on the table.   
  
"Your wife told us that you went to Carrie's house and she had tried to commit suicide, is that true?"  
  
Roger sighed and shook his head, his eyes cast at the table. "Yes. It was so tragic. I walked in just as she slit her wrists."  
  
"So how'd you stop her?" Fin asked, stepping closer to the reverend, eyeing him suspiciously for any indication that he could be lying. After all, it could run in the family.  
  
"I grabbed the piece of glass out of her hand. I grabbed her wrist and I made her look at the blood. I said to her, "Carrie Fowler, God does not want you to die this way!" And she began to cry and beg for forgiveness."  
  
"Are you aware that Carrie Fowler was recently raped in your church while you were out of town?" Munch asked.  
  
Roger looked up at him, his glassy eyes looked partially stunned. "Well, I... Dana told me that something had happened while I was away, but I had no idea what..."  
  
"When did you leave for Mississippi?" Munch asked.  
  
"Uh, Tennessee."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Well, I left three days ago, when my mom called in and told me that she was not well. So I jumped on the 5.40 flight."  
  
"You just left your wife behind? Why didn't she go with you?" All of Elliot's questions wanted to come out fast and furiously, but he restrained from doing so, despite his longing to return to Olivia.  
  
Roger shook his head sadly. "No. My mother and my wife have never gotten along. We thought it best if she stayed here."  
  
"Okay, Mr. Johnson that should be all. We'll be in contact if there's anything else."  
  
The three men exited the interrogation room quickly where they met Cragen. "We'll phone the mom in Kentucky and check the story with her," Munch said. Fin rolled his eyes. "Tennessee, you nimrod."  
  
Munch shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
"The wife left a few minutes ago. She wasn't happy, ranting and raving about you questioning her husband without her consent," Cragen shrugged.  
  
Elliot frowned. "Hmm. Sweet, innocent witness Dana ranting and raving, that's an oxymoron."  
  
Munch nodded. "No kidding. And that her Reverend husband needs his wife's consent to be questioned. Something doesn't fit here."  
  
"Why don't you drop by their house later? You know, surprise visit. See how the home life is," Cragen said.  
  
"What, you want us to hide in the bushes under their living room window dressed in camouflage and listen to their conversations?" Munch asked sarcastically.  
  
"No, actually, I was thinking more along the lines of knocking on the door," Cragen said mater-of-factly. He looked at Elliot. "Meanwhile, you better get back to the hospital. I'm sure you want to be with Olivia when she gets discharged."  
  
Elliot nodded. "Yeah I'd better get back."  
  
"Give her our love," Munch called to Elliot as he rushed out the door. Even as he drove to the hospital, trying to concentrate on Olivia, he couldn't help but think about the case. Something wasn't adding up, but he wasn't sure what it was.  
  
"I'm sure I'll find out soon enough," He mumbled under his breath, clutching the steering wheel tightly. Little did he know how soon it would be. 


	8. Chapter 8

As promised, everything went according to plan and Olivia was released that day. Elliot listened to her griping about being on bed rest for the next three months with a smile. Some things hadn't changed.  
  
Despite his chagrin, Elliot got a call from Fin when he got home, telling him that him and Munch had just arrested the Johnson's after a clerk at the local grocery store had called in a domestic disturbance. The two were fighting pretty ferociously and continually, despite the requests from the store employees and even the cops.  
  
"Somehow I think God wasn't too pleased with the language coming out of the Reverend's mouth," He'd said, sounding almost amused. Elliot was anything but.  
  
As he hung up the phone, he let out a frustrated sigh and looked at Olivia who was waiting tolerantly in their bed, watching him with her hands folded on her lap. "Liv, I'm sorry, but I have to go down to the station, there was a new break in the case."  
  
Olivia shrugged. "Go. I know how important this is."  
  
"You're more important. I'll stay if you want me to-"  
  
"Elliot stop." Olivia held up a hand. "I'm getting mixed signals here. One minute you're telling me that I don't exist and next I'm the most important person in the world. What is going on?"  
  
Elliot sat on the end of the bed and took Olivia's hand in his. He sighed heavily. "I don't know what's happening here. I really don't. It freaks me out to think that one minute I'm unconscious in my car, and the next I'm unconscious on the living room floor of the apartment that I didn't know I had, with the wife that I never married, with a baby that I had no part in."  
  
Olivia shook her head. "I don't understand. It was like amnesia, you didn't know where you were, but you knew who I was. You knew about work. You even knew about the case, Elliot, I don't know what to believe here."  
  
"I wish I could explain."  
  
Olivia was silent for a moment. "Go to work," She said quietly. "We'll figure this out. I hope."  
  
Elliot clutched her hand tighter. "We will." He stood slowly, reluctantly leaving her behind. Before he left, he turned once more and said, "And I do care about you. I always have, even before I found myself here. Aside from my kids, you were my number one. And when or if I ever leave, I don't want you to forget that."  
  
Olivia frowned, unsure of what he meant. Something from the back of her mind was tugging on a memory that she never knew she had. It was almost like a flashback of cases and days spent with Elliot, not as his wife, but as his partner. But they weren't her memories.   
  
"Where did you come from, Elliot?" Olivia murmured to herself, finally realizing the truth.  
Elliot hurried to the stationhouse, wanting to know what the big deal was about.  
  
"What's going on?" Elliot asked, seeing Munch and Fin at Fin's desk. Fin's head was in his hands and Munch was sighing heavily. "You aren't going to believe this."  
  
"We took some DNA from Dana and Roger and then compared it to the DNA found from Carrie's rape kit. Roger's was a perfect match."  
  
Elliot froze, stunned. "The minister?" He asked incredulously.   
  
Munch nodded. "Yep. We checked with the mother. Roger went down to visit her, all right. Three months ago. Our rapist minister probably just skipped town after the rape."  
  
"What about the domestic disturbance?" Elliot asked. "What made you want to take DNA?"  
  
"Oh, just the little part that Roger spilled. It went something like, "If you ever disagree with me again, I'll kill you just like I wanted to do to Carrie" followed by a few choice words," Fin informed.  
  
"And of course, the lolo spills the beans just when the cops walk in. The moron incriminates himself in front of a good 50 people. I love criminals, they never let you down," Munch stated.  
  
Elliot sighed. "So what happens next?"   
  
"He'll go in front of a jury. He's planning to fight this thing until the day the good Lord takes him home. I have a feeling that won't be the case either way," Fin's voice was dripping in sarcasm.   
  
Elliot nodded. "Yeah. So, our work here is done?"  
  
Munch glared at him. "No, now we have to finish the paperwork." He handed Elliot a big stack of papers.  
  
Elliot drew back his hands and put them up. "Uh, no. Sorry. But I got an ailing wife at home who needs my attention."  
  
"That's low Stabler," Fin raised an eyebrow. "Use Olivia as an excuse."  
  
"Excuse? She's a savior. Bye, guys," Elliot turned and left with a small grin on his face.  
"Hey, Olivia! I'm ho-"  
  
He was cut short when he came face to face with her, sitting on the couch as if everything was fine. "How did you get out here? Did you get up? I told you you weren't supposed to get up!"  
  
"Whoa. Hold on a minute," Olivia said with a smile. "We have to talk. Come, sit down."  
  
Elliot sat down next to her, still not happy that she disobeyed the doctor's orders. But instead of pushing the matter, he listened patiently to her.  
  
"Look, Elliot, I never really understood what was going on with you. Not knowing who I was or where you were. But now I do. You were telling the truth."  
  
Elliot stared at her. "Okay, but how did you…"  
  
Olivia shrugged. "I dunno, I just felt it, that's all. I was remembering things about us. But they were things that we didn't do together. They were things that you and Olivia in your old life did."  
  
Elliot nodded. "Okay so you believe me. Now what do we do?"  
  
"You go back."  
  
Elliot was dumbfounded. "Olivia… I don't know how to go back, number one, and number two, why was I sent here in the first place? There has to be a reason."  
  
Olivia nodded. "There was. The case." Elliot looked at her like she was loco. Olivia laughed lightly. "Let's just say I sort of… channeled my split personality. Olivia back in your life is confused about it. They can't figure out what happened. I felt her confusion… or my confusion… whatever," Olivia frowned and shook her head, as if she were bewildering herself.  
  
"But anyway, the point is that you need to go back. You need to go back to your old life… and Kathy."  
  
Elliot felt a pang of sadness. "But what about you?"  
  
Olivia shrugged with a smile. "Hey, my husband was here before you came. He was just like you. Big surprise. But if you go back, he'll come back. And we'll both be fine."  
  
"Yeah, he will," Elliot had a look of jealousy on his face. Olivia laughed loudly. "Elliot, my husband is you. You don't have to be jealous. If you want to know what's going on here, just concentrate as hard as you can. That's what I did with your Olivia."  
  
Elliot nodded and smiled. "Yeah. You're right. Thank you." He leaned over and gave her a sweet kiss. Olivia smiled. "Now, being the good husband you are, can you please get me some water?"  
  
Elliot smiled. "No problem." He stood up to go towards the kitchen, but instead tripped on one of Lucy's chew toys. The last thing he remembered was Olivia gasping frantically. And then there was nothing.  
A bright light was shining in his eyes. Elliot tried to open them. The faint sound of voices surrounded him and the source of the voices began to come into his vision, though blurred.  
  
"Elliot! Oh, God, he's awake! Elliot, are you all right?"   
  
"Olivia?" Elliot asked, sounding and feeling groggy.   
  
"Olivia? No, honey, it's Kathy!"  
  
*Kathy?* He thought. The name rang familiarity throughout his head. And then he realized where he was.   
  
"Kathy," He breathed a soft sigh of relief. He was home again.   
  
"Honey, you were in an accident. You're in the hospital."  
  
Elliot blinked as he tried to open his eyes. Despite the bright light that he thought he'd felt, the room was fairly dark. Him and Kathy were the only ones in the room.   
  
"Kathy," He said again, more clearly. "Oh God, Kathy. I had a different life! I was married to Olivia and we were going to have a baby. And then there was the case and we-"  
  
"Whoa, Elliot, slow down!" Kathy laughed. "You were in a coma. You've been out for almost Six hours now."  
  
Elliot looked at her, startled. "Six hours? No, I was away for days! I…"  
  
"I promise you, Elliot, the only place that you were was here. And I promise you, Olivia and you are not married. And she is not pregnant. I'll bring her in here and prove it to you," Kathy said with a smile.  
  
Elliot nodded slowly. "O-okay…"  
  
Within moments, Kathy had returned, Olivia in tow. She smiled. "Hey partner. You gave us all quite a scare."  
  
"Olivia," He mumbled. She smiled down at him. He glanced at her stomach. Kathy was right. It was perfectly flat. He returned his gaze back to Olivia's face and smiled. She was exactly the same.   
  
*"There has to be a reason."*  
  
*"There was. The case."*  
  
Their words came floating back to Elliot. He looked up frantically at Olivia. "Olivia, I know what happened with the Fowler case," He said. Olivia frowned. "Really? How?"  
  
Elliot smiled a little and shook his head lightly, trying not to stir the dull aching that was beginning to show up. "It's a long story. But I know what happened."  
THREE MONTHS LATER  
  
Elliot sifted through the filed pile don his desk. Another long, busy day at work, doing paperwork. *What else?* He thought to himself smiling a little as he remembered using Olivia as an excuse to get out of the Fowler paperwork.  
  
He yawned and stretched, taking a momentary break. Olivia looked across at him and chuckled. "Tired already? We just started."  
  
Nodding and giving her a sarcastic sneer, Elliot mumbled, "Yeah, yeah. I'm working."  
  
He pulled a file out form the stack and a small envelope fluttered out. Elliot frowned, not remembering this envelope before.  
  
He opened it and turned it upside down. Out came a small picture of a little baby wrapped up tightly. The caption read, Andrew Elliot Stabler 6 pounds 7 ounces.  
  
Elliot looked across his desk to Olivia, who was engaged in her work, clueless that Elliot was watching her. A small smile began to spread across his face.  
  
He looked down at the picture again. *Hey Andrew, maybe I'll meet you someday,* He thought. Maybe he never would. Who knew? But one thing he knew for certain. Olivia now meant more to him than ever before.  
  
Olivia looked up and caught him staring at her. "What?"  
  
Elliot shook his head. "Nothing." Looking back down at his son, he carefully replacing the picture and slipped it in his drawer, then looking up to the pictures of his four kids. He smiled.   
  
*I am the luckiest man alive.* 


End file.
